Thursday, 31 October 2013

Confessions Of A Bad Relationship

How may I express the inner turmoil I feel, when I don't know how I can survive without you? You are all I have ever wanted in my life. You brought me such joy and happiness, but now they appear to have only been temporary. I was attracted to you from the very beginning. You were all I thought of, and everyone I knew thought you were the best thing for me. You embodied glamor, beauty, freedom, and even hope.
Over time I came to the realization that you were not what I envisioned you to be. On the outside you appealed to everyone, and your allure was mesmerizing. It seems that everyone you touch is seduced by your presence... but I have come to know you for who you really are. How will I explain my detachment from you, when everyone seems to covet you so dearly?
Yes, I was sucked into your twisted, perverted world without even realizing it. The personal demands you have imposed on me have become too much to endure. I have learned how you manipulate people and judge people without cause, like a hustler in a futile game. I observe how you toy with people's emotions, and poison their self-worth. Those involved with you are oblivious to your heartless deception.
If only they could comprehend your lack of compassion, your ability to seduce through a cunning facade, they would understand your fictitious entrapment. You care nothing about the difficulties people must endure. I have come to despise your existence, but I am addicted by my need to possess you. I don't know how to live without you. I find myself engulfed in a state that is often confused, but compelled at the same time.
This co-dependency is surely unhealthy, but there seems no escape. My love-hate relationship with you is shared by others, yet there is no one to confide in to help me rid myself of your bondage. Should I bite the bullet, and just be grateful for what you can offer? Should I accept the little pleasures you bring in my life, ignoring that I deserve more?
I must face the glaring truth. The happiness and serenity I seek, is being restricted by my obsessive involvement with you. I will commit to exposing your illusive power! I want everyone to know the truth about you. You do not belong with the living! You are corrupt, a scam, and I now perceive you as a Bad Dream. One day your name will represent the meaning of Corruption and Deceit!

Think About Acceptance For Who He Is To Learn How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

Tell me how this scenario sounds to you. You just realized, after a good deal of breathing space, that your last ex boyfriend was the biggest love of your life. But now, both of you have parted ways never to walk across each other's paths again. This great epiphany has now made you desperately want to get back with your ex boyfriend and rekindle what you both once had together. But hang on. How are you supposed to do it? Women who are faced with this very huge challenge can do one of two things. They can either take it head on and win or be rattled by the prospect t of it being too enormous a task and lose. It's fairly much up to them about what happens next and which fork in the road they'll take.
Those who wanted a happy-ever-after kind of ending will need to get the wherewithal and plan doing or carrying out the following tips and tricks to easily get their ex-boyfriends back:
1. Discover How You Can Present Yourself As A New Woman To Your Ex-Boyfriend
While you can't simply click your fingers and transform yourself into somebody else, you can definitely change aspects of yourself for the better. Strive for the new, more improved version of you. If you haven't yet grown into full maturity emotional perhaps now is the time to make that metamorphosis. Sometimes, a broader sense of responsibility, understanding and a keener awareness of how you affect your lover and others are all that's needed to have a smooth sailing relationship.
2. Accept Your Ex-Boyfriend For Who He Is
Many women try and demand absolute perfection from their partners yet they themselves never see their own faults as others may see them. Many wise people have remarked that in order to get your ex boyfriend back, you have to take him for whatever he is. Good or bad, you have to be accepting of all of him (including his shortcomings) and do your best to stick it out with him. Change for the better may very well happen in the fullness of time. Just be patient and you may bear witness to a positive change in both of you, not just him.
3. Be More Giving
Acceptance can be quite a very different from giving. Giving is allowing your ex boyfriend to be his own self, his own man and commander of his own realm. Change your approach and act like his support system, not his judge of character. Many men don't want to feel inferior to their partner and question their own self-esteem. So walk side-by-side every single step of the way - never behind, never ahead.
While certainly not the totality of all the things you can do, these nonetheless are the simple but effective things you can do to get back with your ex boyfriend. The change should start from you, actually from within you. You have to act positively at all times to acquire equally positive results. Your ex boyfriend could very well take you back. It really is all in your court and is just a matter of what you'll do next.

Becoming Friends With Anger

Anger is the unannounced visitor that keeps dropping by, again and again.
Some of us hide, hoping this troublesome guest will go away. Others of us let it take over, which just leaves us even angrier, without friends, where we feel isolated, alone and misunderstood.
However, there is another way. We can make friends with our anger and try to understand what makes it tick; where it comes from and why it erupts. By so doing, we create an opportunity to learn a lot more about ourselves and make real, lasting changes in our relationships.
We get angry at our partners, our children, the man at the dry cleaner's, the woman cutting us off on the freeway, our boss who just doesn't understand, our dogs for barking too much. We get angry, but we rarely understand why.
Anger a powerful emotion:
Anger is one of the most powerful emotions, and deemed to be one of the most difficult to deal with. It's also probably the least understood. But for me anger is highlighting a deeper issue of hurt or pain or even trauma that is still unresolved. I have come to understand in the work that I do in healing relationships that it is the underlying issue that is difficult for many of us to deal with.
Rather than working with the anger we push it down even deeper. We have got so used to burying the pain and unconsciously making excuses as to why we feel the way that we do, which not only intensifies the hidden pain but also forms behaviours that are not a true reflection of who we are. But one day it will surface and cause us further hurt and damage, even destroy our relationships, especially the one that we have with our self, as well as our health and our job.
Buried emotions will show themselves eventually in some form or another and that is because of who we are. We are souls expressing our self through the human journey and as such we will find avenues in which to release inner pain and suffering. As souls we have a wonderful gift to express the love of Creation through each one of us. Our souls are continually growing and expanding our awareness and in that growth, negative thoughts, beliefs and behaviours will come to our attention as our inner (soul) light throws a bright light upon our inner dysfunction.
When you next get anger or feel it surfacing embrace it; make friends with it and let it show you what the real issue is. Find out what beliefs are fuelling the emotion and holding its roots firmly in place in your subconscious. Maybe you also grew up in a household with angry parents, where anger as he norm of expression?
When we venture inward and investigate the story, the anger can just dissolve, or we may need some help. By enquiring within we can find new ways to transform and heal our anger: -
By going into the emotion, allowing ourselves to feel the feeling we can help it to dissolve. A part of us wants to be heard, so it is up to us to listen and become more aware. Listening to the emotion and focusing our mind only on the emotion, we can sense the thoughts coming from the emotion, so we uncover more of the issue. By writing down those thoughts, assists us in building inner trust whereby we get to know our self a whole lot more. Having more clarity diminishes any fear of the anger so it loses its grip over our behaviours and lessens unfounded future angry reactions. It also gives us choice to heal.
Beliefs that triggers the anger. By looking at our beliefs around our anger can be both surprising and very enlightening. Seeing what thought patterns are holding the anger in place presents us with even more choice. We get to clean up negative thinking and any beliefs built on judgement.
As a brief example where a mother is constantly yelling at her child to pick their clothes up and finding herself getting very angry in the process. By going into the feeling of the anger and connecting with it, the mother may well find below the anger is a real sense of feeling isolated, alone, not being listened to or she may hear the distant echo of her mother's voice yelling at her when very young. She may also uncover beliefs around the anger such as, " children must be controlled, kept in check", "children must be punished", "my life would be happier if the people I lived with weren't so messy", "if I don't keep the house tidy my husband will be angry with me". Maybe her relationship isn't how she had hoped it to be and is afraid express her true feelings". Until we go within we won't know and we deny our self the opportunity for healthy change.
Anger definitely separates us from ourselves. The soul has shown me that many gaps exist within us that come from fear and painful emotions and there is always a root cause, a reason attached to the thread of the emotion. Those weeds can be rooted out very gently; it does not have to be a traumatic experience when you venture in. Just take your time. Be kind to yourself and know that you are uncovering the absolute wonder of who you are. You are in there!
Know too that you are a real gift to our world.

Understand The Essence of Conflict

Understanding the essence of conflict is helpful for spotting it and learning how to deal with it in a healthy and productive way. Here are some fundamental principles to consider:
§ Conflict is a perfectly natural occurrence that can easily arise when one or more people come together in an environment.
§ Conflict can actually prove to be valuable and productive, if recognized in time and handled in a productive manner. Conflict situations can be great opportunities for personal growth, particularly by understanding and applying healthy ways of resolving the issue.
§ Conflict usually arises when people begin to feel that they are not being respected or heard, or that their needs are not being met.
§ When confrontations arise, our emotions can prevent us from responding rationally to the circumstance.
§ Our past impacts our present experiences. Early experiences with conflict have a direct effect on our current responses to conflict as adults.
§ Conflict is often magnified in situations where limited space or resources create a perception of potential lack. "Survival instincts" kick into gear in an effort to ensure we are getting our fair share.
§ Due to the overly emotional nature of confrontation, even the nicest people in the world (even you and me), have the potential to escalate matters into an unhealthy and unproductive situation.
§ Unresolved conflict can create resentments, destroy relationships and lead to long-term, permanent damage to all parties concerned.
Powerful Questions for Conflict Resolution
When you approach a conflict, does the other person perceive that you care most about them, or about winning the argument? Whether a situation is conflict in a personal, close relationship or in a business, formal setting, you are dealing with another human being. And that human being wants to be respected and valued. One way to show that you value the other person is to ask some powerful questions. After listening to their viewpoint, you can also share your observations. For example, if you regularly have conflict with a co-worker, you might say, "It seems to me that you and I struggle with communicating about what part each of us should play in the project. How do you think we could improve that?" Questions that show you care about the other person and the relationship create a dynamic between you that makes the task of conflict resolution easier, smoother, and more enjoyable for all involved. Here are some you might find helpful:
· How does conflict affect this relationship?
· What do most of our conflicts revolve around?
· How do we usually handle conflicts?
· What do we do well?
· What do you wish we did better?
· How would our relationship change if we handled conflict more positively?
Maintain an open heart and a willingness to listen to what's being said and what is not being communicated. Look for a win-win outcome that is healing for all involved and in so doing, plant new seeds of love that can blossom and grow! Everyone just wants to be heard and everyone has something to offer our precious world!